29 May 1989

Letter to the Editor of The Natal Witness

Dear Sir,

Yesterday my husband and I went to the Hilton Hotel for their Sunday carvery. Norman and I have been going to the Hilton for Sunday lunch for nearly a decade, since we moved from Rhodesia, and we have never experienced anything quite like it. It was an absolute travesty. 

We booked our usual table, table 3, by the window. The manager on duty had the temerity to put us at table 3, but they had changed the table numbers around to accommodate for an 80th birthday, so table 3 was at a completely different window. Norman and I specifically request table 3, because it’s close to the pianist, the buffet, and it has a picturesque view of the gardens that Jean Spurling has been dedicating her life to. Then, when we closed the curtains to block out the sun, we were promptly told that other patrons were complaining that they couldn’t see the view and we should open them.  

Things went from bad to worse. When the wine steward took our drinks order, he informed us that they had run out of Bellingham Johannesburger, and recommended something that was a lot more expensive. We told him that we would take that wine, but he should only charge us for the Bellingham, because a three star hotel should not be running out of wine, especially on a Sunday. Imagine our surprise when the bill arrived and we had been charged for the Chateau Libertas?

But the pièce de résistance was when Norman went to get his dessert and low and behold there was no lemon jelly. Well that did it! Imagine having a buffet without lemon jelly, I ask you? I went to the chef and I asked him where the lemon jelly was, given that it was 12:56 and we were the first people to get our pudding. He told us that he wasn’t doing jelly anymore because there’s jelly in the trifle, and it’s something people can make at home. I said that I take great umbrage that there’s no jelly given that they charge an arm and a leg for their buffet nowadays, and that I would be writing to The Natal Witness. And do you know what he did? He laughed in my face and said something about turning himself into police custardy. 

There are many other places in the Natal Midlands that do a perfectly adequate Sunday Lunch and Norman and I will be taking our patronage elsewhere. We’ll be thinking twice about going back to the Hilton Hotel. 

Yours Sincerely

Disgruntled (Howick).